


Addiction

by eyeofdionysus



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alcoholic Tony Stark, F/M, Gratuitous Smut, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Sexy Times, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-07-26 22:20:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7592455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyeofdionysus/pseuds/eyeofdionysus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's an unhealthy relationship, if you could even call it that, and you need some time away to clear your head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Addiction

**Author's Note:**

> Warning that there is reference to heavy drinking, sex, swearing.  
> Flashbacks in Italics

You never wanted it to be this way. It always felt wrong. You usually felt dirty and cheap the next day, but at the time it was the best fucking feeling ever.

You could never remember the actions that led to it. How it ever happened, or sometimes the act itself, but you always found yourself in the same situation on a regular basis. Not nightly, but regular enough. 

A voice in the back of your head always screamed that it was wrong, unhealthy, but you struggled to say no. Maybe you didn't actually want to say no. Maybe you actually enjoyed it and needed to admit that to yourself and that feeling scared you.

You looked at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes were dull and last night makeup stained your skin. Your hair looked like a nest, and was in desperate need of a brush. Your skin looked pale. If you saw a friend looking like this, you would think they were sick. 

You turned on the shower and as soon as the water was warm enough you stepped under the spray. 

You just stood there with your hands resting on the wall as the spray hit your back. The heat slightly burning and stinging, but making your skin feel alive. 

You had to get away. You had to get clean, not just from the alcohol, but also from him. 

You dressed and packed a small bag. You didn't tell anyone you were leaving, but you would message them when you got there. 

You threw your bag into the back of the car you were borrowing and set off. 

You arrived at your destination just as the sun was beginning to set. You dumped your bag in the living room and set the small amount of groceries you picked up in the kitchen. You stepped out onto the small porch, breathing in the clear air. You sat on the swing seat and let the silence wrap round you like a comfort blanket. You closed your eyes and took several deep breaths. Silent tears slowly escaped. 

_ The back of your head bumped the wall, but you didn't feel a thing. All your focus was on the hands roaming and nails scratching at your body, the lips sucking on your breast, the tongue circling your nipple, the feel of hair in your fingers as you gripped, anchoring them in place as you felt heat pool within you. _

_ There was nothing romantic or sensual or even loving. It was all teeth and tongues and nails. Heavy breathing and sweaty bodies. Clothes ripping and hair pulling. This was raw, animalistic fucking.  _

_ You couldn't lie, you loved it. Every second of it. The roughness of his hands, the warmth of his breath. The taste of the alcohol on his lips. The feel of him slipping with ease inside of you, filling you completely and making you cum the hardest you've ever cum in your life. _

_ He never stayed. He would leave as soon as the deed was done and never look your way, until the next time. You wanted him to stay. You felt like you needed him to stay. The buzz from the alcohol and your orgasm dying as soon as he walked out the room.  _

_ Morning came and so did the hangover and the ache for his touch. You were addicted and it was slowly killing you.  _

\-------

Four weeks. That's how long you'd been away. Four weeks without a drop of alcohol. Four weeks without his touch. Four weeks without a single word from him. Your head was telling you that you had done the right thing, but your heart, where he was concerned was telling you a different story. You hoped this time away would get him out of your system, but your heart ached for him. You loved him. You needed him. But he would never be able to give you what you wanted.

You had fallen in love with him before the first time he came to you.  And that's what made it hurt so much. You loved him and you knew he would never feel that way about you, so you continued to drink and continued to fuck him every time he came to you. You never told him how you felt. He seemed convinced he was unable to love, and that he didn't deserve anyone's love. You never said those three simple words out loud to him, yet you whispered them to an empty room every time he left.

You placed your book down on the table at the sound of a car approaching. You cursed under your breath. Your hands were shaking as you opened the door. You weren't ready for this. You needed more time. 

No words were exchanged as you stepped aside to let him in. He followed you to sit in the living room, opting to take a chair instead of sitting next to you on the couch. 

“How did you find me?”

“Uh. GPS sweetheart. Not that hard”

You couldn't do this. Not right now. Exchange small pleasantries when all you wanted was to climb in his lap and tell him you love him. 

“Why are you here?”

“I needed to see you.”

“Well you've seen me.” You stood up and moved towards the door. “You can leave now”

“No.”

You turned to face him, crossing your arms. 

“Y/N. Just hear me out.”

You remained standing. Looking at him, waiting, hoping your heart wouldn't break in front of him with the words you were sure you were going to hear.

“Can you at least sit down y/n?”

You kept your arms folded as you sat back down on the couch.

“Look. You know I'm no good at all this feelings crap. I. Well. Look. I spoke to Steve. We'll Steve spoke to me would be more accurate. You know he seems to love giving people lectures. Anyway, he got me thinking and well. Would you please at least uncross your arms, and stop glaring at me. I don't like it when you look at me like that.”

You shuffled as you uncross your arms and placed your hands on your lap. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. 

“That's better. You make me feel like a naughty schoolboy when you look at me that way. Usually I'd be all up for that kinda thing, but not right now.”

You tried not to smile at that comment. 

“Ok. So after my lecture from the 98 year old virgin I had time to think and well, I just going to lay my card on the table. I haven't had a drink since I found out you left. Fuck. I haven't even had sex since you left.”

You shifted uncomfortably at his words. 

“What are you trying to say? That you can only have sex if you're drunk?”

“That's not what I'm saying and you damn well know it.” He stood up and started pacing. Running his hands through his hair. “Fuck this. I'm just going to come right out and say this straight. So just shut up and listen.” He continued pacing. “It's you ok. It's not the alcohol. I could give that up easy enough, but not you. The sex with you was great, like really great, but I want more y/n. You're like a drug and I want more.”

You were stunned. He wanted more? Was he capable of giving more? In all the time you had known him he never wanted more, with anyone. You struggled to tell if he was being sincere or if he realised that his on tap fuck was gone. With this thought all the emotions inside of you burst forth like a gyser. 

“You want more? When the fuck have you ever wanted more?” 

You were stood facing him. The smell of his cologne seeping into your senses. 

“You're just paying me lip service, sacred that you've lost your regular fuck.”

“Wait. Is that all you think this was?”

“Well how would you define it. You would only ever come to me when we were drunk or drinking. Fuck me then leave me and then treat me like nothing ever happened. I started to feel ashamed. You were fucking with my emotions and I couldn't and can't take it anymore.”

Your chest was heaving, tears were flowing. You took a deep breath to try and compose yourself. 

“I love you Tony. I am in love with you and have been for a long time. I can't be just a fuck to you anymore and I really, really want to believe you when you say.”

Your words were cut off my Tony’s lips on yours. His hands holding your face. This kiss was different, still hungry, but different. 

Tony broke the kiss, still holding your face, but tilting you slightly to look at him. 

“Let me show you that I want more”

You could only nod your head as he took your hand to lead you up to the bedroom. 

This time there was no being pushed up against the wall. This time Tony removed his shirt and then yours. He kissed your lips and moved along your jaw and down you neck. One hand on your waist, the other expertly unhooking your bra.

“Remove the rest of your clothes sweetheart and get on the bed”

His voice made you shiver, and you did as you were told, maybe a little too quickly. You lay there watching as he unbuttoned the top of his jeans and opened them slightly. As he moved to the foot of bed keeping his eyes on you at all times. You started to feel exposed and vulnerable. 

“Don't. Don't try and cover yourself. I want to see you. All of you.” He began moving up your body. “I've never taken the time to appreciate just how beautiful you really are.”

He placed a kiss on your lips as he rested his body on top of yours, bracing himself on his forearms. His hips flush to yours causing the denim to scratch on your naked skin. You could feel his hard on twitch.

He kissed along your jaw, shifting so he could bring a hand up to caress your breast. You bit your lower lip as a soft moan escaped. You were used to this attention and it was driving you wild. You never knew his touch could be so gentle.

Tony took his time with every touch whether it was his hands or his lips. He was desperate to prove that you weren't just a fuck to him. Although he had every intention of fucking you, he wanted to savour every inch of you. He was craving you. Your touch, your taste, the feel of you coming undone beneath him or on top of him or any possible way he could have you.

_ He hated to leave you. He wanted to curl up beside you, wrap his arms around you and stay. He knew he was being an asshole every time he left. If he was being honest to himself, something he often avoided, he was scared. He was scared of his feelings for you. He didn't want you getting hurt, especially if it was because of him, but he was failing to realise that he was indeed already hurting you with his behaviour.  _

_ He would never admit that he perhaps took advantage the first time you were together. Not that he forced himself or anything, but he knew that the alcohol flowing between you both played a huge part. But after the first taste of your kiss he wanted more. He used the alcohol as an excuse because he was too scared to admit that it was you he craved. _

He kissed down to your chest while his hand travelled further down, until he reached your hot, already dripping centre. He played with your clit, enjoying to feel of you writhing and the sound of you moaning beneath him. It was making him harder and his jeans were becoming uncomfortable.

He didn't want to stop what he was doing, the sounds coming from your lips had him entranced. He leaned up nipping at your earlobe.

“Think you could help me out here”

You didn't need to be asked twice. He stilled his fingers on you while you made light work of his belt and the jeans zipper. You teased at the band of his boxers before slipping your hand in a grabbing him. You began slowly pumping him, twisting slightly whenever you got to the base. 

Tony moaned and it was one of the best sounds you had ever heard and it was because of you.

You continued to mutually pleasure each other until he felt you start to tighten around his fingers. He knew you were close. He removed his fingers, causing you to stop the hand job on him. He kissed you quickly, before moving to in between your legs, pushing your legs further apart and attaching his mouth to your already throbbing clit.

The sound that escaped your lips would have made a porn star blush. Tony groaned into you as you came, holding you still as he lapped up your orgasam.

He took the opportunity while you were enjoying the blissful aftershocks to rid himself of his remaining clothes. He pumped himself a couple of times as he watched you lying naked before him, chest heaving, legs trembling. He positioned himself between your legs again, rubbing your entrance with the head of his cock. Your hands instinctively reached out and grabbed his shoulders while you opened yourself more by placing your legs around his waist. He brought his lips to your and kissed as he pushed into you. You continued to kiss as he began thrusting. Slowly and deliberately at first, he wanted to feel you, actually feel you. 

The room was full of the sounds of moans, cussing, heavy breathing, and skin slapping against skin as he began to thrust harder and faster. Each other's names on your lips as you both came. His seed spilling into you as your cum slid down his cock. 

He stayed inside you while you rubbed circles on his shoulders and ran your fingers through his hair while he kissed you. He eventually move from on top of you to beside you, pulling you close to him. You turned in his arms so your back was to his chest. He traced random patterns over your stomach and hip as kissed your shoulder. You could feel his cock twitching against your ass, which you wriggled. He moved his hand up to your breast where he rolled the nipple between his fingers causing you to push your ass towards him more. You placed your hand on top of his as he teased your breast. He sucked at your neck making sure to leave marks for all to see. He moved his hand so it was now on top of yours and moved it back down towards your throbbing core. You didn't need to be guided at this point as you started teasing your clit with your finger while he began teasing your folds before slowly inserting two fingers to lazily finger fuck you. Just when you were about to come undone he removed his fingers and pulled your own away. He lifted your leg so he could slide into you. He brought your hand back to your clit and covered it with his own while you toyed with the hot bundle of nerves. It wasn't long before you were panting and moaning his name in between cusses. 

Morning came and you awoke to an empty bed. Instinctively you assumed the worst. You got out of bed and pulled on your pj's. As you dragged yourself downstairs your senses were met with the smell of fresh coffee and bacon. Tony was standing at the stove making breakfast. You sneaked up behind him and wrapped your arms around him causing him to jump slightly. He turned to stove off and turned to face you, attaching his lips to yours a hot, searing kiss. 

“I thought you'd left” You admitted in an almost whisper. 

Tony held you face so you would at him. 

“Sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere. I'm too addicted”


End file.
